"The big strategic play? Lying. Sorry, I had to. This was important. I convinced her that the Lakers were bullies (she hates the concept of bullying; it drives her crazy in movies), that Kobe is a mean daddy to his young daughters and that Phil Jackson absolutely hates golden retrievers. Did I show her the Artest melee on YouTube, then point out Artest in a Lakers uniform and tell her that she couldn't root for the Lakers because Artest might run into the stands and punch me during a game? Yes. Yes I did. The only time I screwed up? When I tried to convince her that Pau Gasol was a vampire -- that made her like him more. (F***ing Edward. He swayed an entire generation of girls under 15.) Everything else worked. Everything. I killed off every possible Lakers chromosome."Even assuming some comic license on Simmons' part, that's why I don't let myself ever become too much of a sports fan. When you start working that hard and dishonestly at swaying a child's entertainment preferences -- and that's all sports really are, right? -- the line from "fun" to "sick" has been crossed. I don't ever want my feelings about the running and jumping abilities of young men to ever affect my emotional outlook, or my parenting. Especially my parenting.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Bill Simmons: Possibly A Bad Dad
Bill Simmons' love of Boston teams and hatred of the LA Lakers is usually amusing, but his campaign to keep his daughter from becoming a Lakers fan seems psychopathic: