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Bill Simmons: Possibly A Bad Dad

Bill Simmons' love of Boston teams and hatred of the LA Lakers is usually amusing, but his campaign to keep his daughter from becoming a Lakers fan seems psychopathic:
"The big strategic play? Lying. Sorry, I had to. This was important. I convinced her that the Lakers were bullies (she hates the concept of bullying; it drives her crazy in movies), that Kobe is a mean daddy to his young daughters and that Phil Jackson absolutely hates golden retrievers. Did I show her the Artest melee on YouTube, then point out Artest in a Lakers uniform and tell her that she couldn't root for the Lakers because Artest might run into the stands and punch me during a game? Yes. Yes I did. The only time I screwed up? When I tried to convince her that Pau Gasol was a vampire -- that made her like him more. (F***ing Edward. He swayed an entire generation of girls under 15.) Everything else worked. Everything. I killed off every possible Lakers chromosome."
Even assuming some comic license on Simmons' part, that's why I don't let myself ever become too much of a sports fan. When you start working that hard and dishonestly at swaying a child's entertainment preferences -- and that's all sports really are, right? -- the line from "fun" to "sick" has been crossed. I don't ever want my feelings about the running and jumping abilities of young men to ever affect my emotional outlook, or my parenting. Especially my parenting.


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