Coronavirus Journal: Thoughts and Prayers

My son has insisted we start daily family yoga for the
duration of the lockdown. He's a bit of a showoff.

I'm not much of a praying man. My theological beliefs are fuzzy, at best, and I have long believed in Huckleberry Finn's maxim: "You can't pray a lie."

But for the last couple of weeks, as it has become apparent that coronavirus would upend our lives, I've become a praying man again.

This is tricky, because I've never wanted to treat God -- or whatever name you have for whatever force there might be in the universe -- as Santa Claus. "Dear God, give me this thing that I want," seems both pointless and selfish. I want to be healthy and not lose my livelihood during this time. But so do a lot of people who have, or are about to, lose either their health or their livelihood. I'm not sure that God, to the extent God exists, works that way.

But here's the thing: I'm not in control of what's about to happen.

I'm in control of my response, to some extent. I started social distancing a few days before it became cool. We've stocked up on groceries, but we've tried not to hit the hoarding stage of things. I've tried, publicly, to be an advocate for being kind to each other while also taking proper safety measures.

But this is bigger than me. And it's possible -- likely even -- that I didn't start distancing soon enough. And my wife works a day or two a week at a local grocery store. She's being careful about things, but it means we're somewhat more exposed than other families. I wish that weren't the case, but somebody has to do the work of ensuring families in our community can feed themselves -- lots of somebodies -- and I can't morally justify saying we'll have no part of that risk.

Again: I'm not in control.

So prayer, for me, is a way to acknowledge that I'm not in control, that I can't control what's happening, and to be kind of but not entirely OK with that.

The church I sometimes attend, Peace Mennonite Church in Lawrence, Kansas, didn't hold services on Sunday. Instead, the pastor sent out a worship guide and made herself available for video chats.

The worship guide included the following group prayer:

We pray for people in the U.S and around the world impacted by coronavirus.
We pray for comfort for those who have lost loved ones, and for those who have been quarantined and are feeling alone.
We pray for healing for those who are sick.
We pray for safety, strength and compassion for medical workers who may be overwhelmed caring for those who are battling various illnesses, and workers who are exposed to greater risks.
We pray that our public officials act with compassion and wisdom as they work to contain the virus.
We pray for those without access to health care, and for those who don’t know how they will make it if they get sick and can’t go to work.
We pray that your peace will guard our hearts and minds so that we are not overcome by anxiety and fear.
God, inspire in us ways to show your love to one another and to ourselves. Guide our hearts and our actions to greater care, kindness and generosity in the midst of these fears and uncertainties. Amen.

Whether or not you believe in a God to pray to, who responds to your prayers, these are worthy hopes.

For more from the Coronavirus Journal, click here.